Who’s In Your Circle?

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

I’ve heard this saying my entire life and I would agree that there are so many truths to this statement.

Your tribe, or your circle, is important because whether we admit it or not, the people we are around inspire, encourage, discourage, lead, or drag us.

“According to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, [the people you habitually associate with] determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.”

Your circle are the influencers in your daily existence.

Before we get into the types of people in that circle, let’s talk about why it’s important to have them.

As we move throughout days, months, phases of life-there are some people that are needed to help us in various ways. Whether it’s a private shoulder to cry on when we don’t want to feel or seem weak in public, or that person to say ok, enough crying, let’s get to work! Different friends bring different moods and influence into our worlds on a very personal level.

As I think about my life and the types of people I’ve been surrounded with… there are five personas that I recognize and always want inside of my very protective space.

Let’s talk about the five types of people I insist on surrounding myself with.

The cheerleader.

Everyone needs a cheerleader in their life. As I think back through some of the toughest moments that I’ve experienced, I can always immediately think of the cheerleader of my circle.

Now, the cheerleader exists simply to be the sunshine and joy did you need every day. And that doesn’t mean they’re always happy. It just means that they not only bring positive vibes and energy, but they are that person who is always so overflowing with joy that anytime you find yourself below the line, if you think of them, or see their name, or receive a text or a phone call from them, your day is instantly better. You are reminded of all the great parts of life over the problems you face.

The cheerleader is the one who always brings the passion, energy, and fire. It feels like they live in a constant state of ‘ go team go’!

The strategist.

I need the strategic friend in my world because I can often get so full of ideas and so passionate and sometimes hasty and the serious one is the one to bring me back to reality.

Not reality in the sense of something isn’t possible, but reality in the sense of how do we achieve this in the smartest way, in the most direct course, most effectively. How do you keep a level head and not get out of character because you’re too hyped up or too emotional over something?

How do you stay on track and pursue clear ideas and plans of action?

The strategist friend is grounded and rooted in common sense and sensibility. This isn’t to say that the strategist doesn’t know how to have a good time. She is just always thinking about the bigger picture and knows everything should happen within context under a set of established rules and expectations. She is no nonsense and always on her a game.

The Vibe

The next friend that I love surrounding myself with is the one who is up or down for anything. This is the cool and calm and most collected person you’ll ever know with all of the good vibes. The chill one always has a way of bringing a level head to every situation.

This friend remind you that everything is temporary and even neutral if you allow it to be.

They know how to control their emotions and think through things before lashing out. Her whole existence is based on living her truth in the most natural and authentic way possible.

She is the earth… she flows like water and shines like the sun during the day and the moon during the night.

She is the soil, rich and life giving. She is the truest example of the beauty in recycling, nothing lost and everything and everyone has a purpose in her world.

The Soul.

The heart and soul.

There are some friends who can barely be described in words…and even with the lack of them, they are more felt than heard.

Some friends don’t require lots of attention and fuss over them.

They don’t need the spotlight or crave it in any way.

They crave action.

They crave emotions.

They crave connections.

This is the spiritual friend that guides through meditation, thoughtfulness, mindfulness, and love.

Their soul is oceans’ deep and there’s nothing empty or shallow about them.

They are the friends that you instantly run to call whenever your heart hurts and you know that they will be the one to help you put it back together again. They are the friend that has thoughts and opinions and advice that they want to share with you and yet they won’t unless you ask them to.

Non intrusive, soulful, and led by heart.

They Hype Woman

Finally, there’s the hype friend.

We all know them. The one who is always ready to go, ready to make moves, ready to get out and shake up life!

This friend is the life of the party. They are the ones you want at every single event because just them walking through the door brings the energy through.

They are magnanimous in amidst everything mundane.

If you’re out at the karaoke spot, this is the friend that’s going to drag you onto the stage whether you can sing or not. If there’s somewhere you’re out and no one‘s on the floor, she’s going to be the first one to hop on to the dance floor and get the party started.

If you are preparing to give a presentation and your nerves are shot, she’s going to remind you who the F you are!

She’s a hype friend.

And we all need that kind of energy in our lives.

These friends are the ones I choose to surround myself with. Not just for a good time, or a shoulder, or reminders.

I need these friends, this circle…because my friends become my collaborators.

They are the people that I want to mastermind with and create projects. They are the ones that I want to share ideas with and see how we can combine those to create bigger efforts together.


My friends and I create podcasts together, we plan for events that will change the lives of women that we come in contact with.

We talk about difficult topics and collaborate together and support one another in creating a safe space to share those conversations.

We encourage, support, redirect, and genuinely want to see what another win.

We discuss, we disagree, we forgive, we accept, we lift, and always above everything else…respect.

We enhance one another’s lives by constantly elevating ourselves, thereby elevating one another.

Together we’ve built a community where we support other women…other ‘groups of five’…to know, love, and find your people too.

Want to sit with us?

We’re here.

Keep hustling, babe.

XX, Tori💋

South FL Girl. Cris + Melo’s Mami. Serial Entrepreneur. Red Wine Lover. Brown Girl in Tech. Fierce Leader of a 1Milli+ Global Girl Gang @theposhgirlsclub

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